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something to keep me occupied while i can't sleep...
1. I remember arriving at Mirabel airport when I was about 5. It was just before Christmas, about midnight, and Montreal was lit up as only Montreal can be, with thousands of lights and the distinctive patterns of the Island and shores. The mountain fairly glowed and the plane circled a few times before setting down. We were met by my godparents (still my favorite relatives) and I rode the luggage rack up the escalators (which were absolutely huge to a 5 year old who had never seen escalators before).
I always get a sense of peace and longing when i remember those days. Coming to Montreal always seemed like a grand adventure, since we only came every 2 years while I was living out west.
2. Family dinners around my grandmother's table. We would visit her once a month and order Benny's Chicken (my mother's favorite). My godmother and cousin would come, and my grandmother would feed us lots of sweets. My grandfather always had chocolate bars hidden in his room; he'd come into the kitchen with a bag and be mobbed by my brother and cousin. I miss that house (my mother grew up there, and i've always associated it with my grandparents) and my grandparents (they died over the past 2 years).
3. I used to visit my grandmother in Alberta every second year (the years we didn't come to Montreal). I remember waking up at some ungodly hour and stealing into the living room to play Intellivision (a real treat, as i didn't have any video games). Then my step-grandfather would get up and play with me til the rest of the house woke up a few hours later. He used to let me win, though he swore he didn't.
4. My grandfather's best friend lived a few houses down from my grandparents. While i was living with my grandparents in grade 3, i used to go over to his house for breakfast a few times a week. He was lonely (widowed, kids all grown up) and loved the company. He fixed bicycles in his garage, and would let me test them to see if they were working right. I'm still angry that no one told me he had died until a month after his funeral (this was only a few years ago, not when i was young).
5. My great-grandmother used to throw parties for the whole family (200+ people) every New Years. She'd rent a ballroom in a hotel and hire a live band and everything. I remember dancing to the band and playing hide and seek with my second cousins in the coat piles.
so it's just occured to me that i haven't felt that peaceful or accepted since my childhood. strange how my family has been such a source of grief and trauma for me, yet they also provide some of my happiest memories (well, my some of my grandparents, anyway). amazing what you remember when people are taken away from you. i suppose it's because i've watched nearly all of them die in the past few years (i've only got my father's parents left; my mother's parents and both step-grandparents died in the past 3 years).
1. I remember arriving at Mirabel airport when I was about 5. It was just before Christmas, about midnight, and Montreal was lit up as only Montreal can be, with thousands of lights and the distinctive patterns of the Island and shores. The mountain fairly glowed and the plane circled a few times before setting down. We were met by my godparents (still my favorite relatives) and I rode the luggage rack up the escalators (which were absolutely huge to a 5 year old who had never seen escalators before).
I always get a sense of peace and longing when i remember those days. Coming to Montreal always seemed like a grand adventure, since we only came every 2 years while I was living out west.
2. Family dinners around my grandmother's table. We would visit her once a month and order Benny's Chicken (my mother's favorite). My godmother and cousin would come, and my grandmother would feed us lots of sweets. My grandfather always had chocolate bars hidden in his room; he'd come into the kitchen with a bag and be mobbed by my brother and cousin. I miss that house (my mother grew up there, and i've always associated it with my grandparents) and my grandparents (they died over the past 2 years).
3. I used to visit my grandmother in Alberta every second year (the years we didn't come to Montreal). I remember waking up at some ungodly hour and stealing into the living room to play Intellivision (a real treat, as i didn't have any video games). Then my step-grandfather would get up and play with me til the rest of the house woke up a few hours later. He used to let me win, though he swore he didn't.
4. My grandfather's best friend lived a few houses down from my grandparents. While i was living with my grandparents in grade 3, i used to go over to his house for breakfast a few times a week. He was lonely (widowed, kids all grown up) and loved the company. He fixed bicycles in his garage, and would let me test them to see if they were working right. I'm still angry that no one told me he had died until a month after his funeral (this was only a few years ago, not when i was young).
5. My great-grandmother used to throw parties for the whole family (200+ people) every New Years. She'd rent a ballroom in a hotel and hire a live band and everything. I remember dancing to the band and playing hide and seek with my second cousins in the coat piles.
so it's just occured to me that i haven't felt that peaceful or accepted since my childhood. strange how my family has been such a source of grief and trauma for me, yet they also provide some of my happiest memories (well, my some of my grandparents, anyway). amazing what you remember when people are taken away from you. i suppose it's because i've watched nearly all of them die in the past few years (i've only got my father's parents left; my mother's parents and both step-grandparents died in the past 3 years).
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no subject
Date: 2003-03-04 12:02 am (UTC)From:She took me aside one year and taught me how to eat properly, with my hands like a pakistani and not with these silly forks and knives and things. She made sure I understood that touch was as important as sight and smell when it comes to food, and to this day I still think of her fondly when I lay down my utensils in favor of the traditional hands-on approach.
I remember her making my mother swear that I would go to the best of schools and never want for an education in life, as this was something vitally important to her. To this day, my mother considers it one of her biggest responsibilities to see to it that I finish university. To make my grandmother happy, as it were.
I remember when she died, she had been sick with cancers for several years. I was maybe 10 or 11 and it was late at night. My dad was away (a constant state really) and my sister must have been asleep when my mom got the call. I knew what had happened, though I don't remember hearing the phone conversation at all. She just hung up the phone and I held her as she cried. Hard to believe but we were close to the same height back then.
I knew my father's mother as well, though my memories of her are far less fond. She was always overbearing, and controlled my father's family with an iron fist. I only met her after her stroke though, when my father's sisters grew tired of looking after her and they shipped her here. For several years I gave up my room and slept on the couch in the living room (the red one in my basement now, this is part of my attachment to it) so my grandmother, who was now paralysed on the left side of her body could sleep comfortably. She was mean and rude to my mother, treated her almost like a slave. My father worked all the time, so my mother had to look after my grandmother alone at home. I must have been 12 by this point or so, and she stayed with us till I was at least 14. I didn't like her much, but then I didn't care much about my dad's side of the family, and there are good reasons for that. I remember that it took months to get the smell out of my room once she was gone.
I can remember meeting my paternal grandfather when I visited pakistan. I was 6 years old then, and frankly I remember very little of him. I don't think I spent more than an hour with him. I have a clearer memory of meeting the scorpion outside his house than I do of meeting him.
Hmm, didn't mean to ramble on. Guess you just sparked a few memories of my own. Still, it must have been nice to know your grandparents so well. I honestly think I knew Ithelwen's grandfolks more than I knew my own. That thought kinda makes me sad.
Re:
Date: 2003-03-04 04:52 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2003-03-05 06:06 am (UTC)From: (Anonymous)While my childhood had its own difficulties, I always had my grandparents. I was blessed in that regard.
--- Ouro
Family
Date: 2003-03-04 06:56 am (UTC)From:I guess if there's a lesson from your childhood, you may look back at the time you're having now and say, "Wow, that was pretty fucking wicked"- even to the crappy memories you're building on now. I mean, hey, you might look back on that two bedroom apartment, four or five kids down the line, and say, "What the hell is wrong with me. I mean, the neighbors were noisy, but I didn't have to live with them. That's it, kids, mommy's had too many of you and one of you is going to Abu Dabi. We're drawing straws. You too, Matt. (God, I hope it's me.)"
Re: Family
Date: 2003-03-04 04:47 pm (UTC)From:Well...
Date: 2003-03-04 04:52 pm (UTC)From:Re: Well...
Date: 2003-03-04 05:51 pm (UTC)From:Re: Well...
Date: 2003-03-04 05:53 pm (UTC)From:HAPPY BIRTHDAY! (well, in 3 hours anyway)
now you can't say i forgot... *evil grin*
no subject
Date: 2003-03-05 06:39 am (UTC)From: (Anonymous)alikat