Lacuna Coil!!

so good in concert... *twitch twitch* must see again soon. "entwined" and "senzafine" were particularly spectacular. addicted Li quite nicely, and now have much orders for copies of my CDs... *evil grin* must propagate strange foreign bands... *rubs hands together in glee*

oh, and someone posted this on the Lacuna Coil LJ community. she's even wearing the same outfit... i was wishing i'd brought a camera, but apparently i didn't need to *grin*

gods, but i needed that. now, if only i could manage to get some SLEEP tonite... another 6am wakeup...

(no subject)

it's gonna feel really strange not to go to Passeport tonite. it's become second nature, habit almost, and despite the occasional off night, i still enjoy it. makes you appreciate it, i guess. maybe i just enjoy the release of being able to dance without caring who's looking or what they think or some other such nonsense. it's a refreshing change from me being hyper-paranoid-everyone-is-looking-at-me!Cymry. gotta lock that part of my personality away every once in a while, i guess...

so tonite, instead of enjoying the wonders of over-bright lights and too-loud music, i'm gonna do laundry, dishes, and watch tv. ooooh, so exciting *dripping sarcasm* but i'm just so tired...

~~***~~

it's occured to me recently that, were i to stop whining, complaining, repeating myself, bitching, and generally making a nuisance of myself, there wouldn't be much left to my personality. any idea how depressing that is? yes, yes, i'm a wonderful, caring person. *looks at ford and 'fana* i know. i appreciate the sentiment, but let's face it, shall we? i'm not looking for sympathy here. i'm just trying to puzzle this through as i'm only ever able to do by writing something down.

the human personality seems to be made up of infinite small quirks, traits and mannerisms that makes each of us unique and individual. when we notice something about ourselves that we don't like, we try to change it. sometimes we're even successful. yet when we are, isn't that trait automatically replaced by something else, something which could potentially be just as annoying (or more so) than what we've just eliminated? or is it too much to assume that the personality must contain a certain number of traits and quirks. it seems that, over the years, i've eliminated (or, at least, decreased) a number of things about myself i considered detrimental or wrong. and yet, i've still got things about myself that bother me, or even that i would be only too happy to stop doing if i had the concentration to catch myself every time. so did these traits crop up once i got rid of the old ones? were they latent and only awakened once there was space for them? or are they only noticeable now because the others are gone? is it possible to eliminate all the bad traits and be left with nothing?

apparently, the architectural part of myself insists that everything be delineated and proportional. silly me.

alright, i'm just rambling, i guess. i just don't like who i am right now, and without a concerted effort to pinpoint exactly what i wanna change, i can't make a proper effort to change it. i don't think i could ever be a pleasant person. i'm too harsh, too honest, too plainspoken, too direct. apparently, too rude as well, but that's a matter of opinion. (it's reassuring to know that at least one of my coworkers thought the entire "attitude adjustment" speech from my manager was funny).

*shrug*

alright, enuf. i'll undoubtedly be back in a few hours, with more ramblings and musings and generally useless thoughts of interest to no one but myself. run for the hills.

but sir, they're coming from the hills...