hehe.

thought i'd share. this is very interesting (even if we didn't make the list)

http://www.vamp.org/Gothic/clublist.html

pointless ramblings of an empty mind

i choke on my words like sawdust, like ashes. so much left unsaid as the world spins out of control, leaving us gasping for breath and unable to watch. each step is one further away from me. there are too many doubts and insecurities for any of us to actually be close; i feel ever the outsider, the one apart, watching over all with protective wings.

i stood watching the other day, studying interactions. i'm not so good with them, you see, so i spend a lot of time studying others, the better to pass myself off as human. *sardonic grin* i've been told everyone is as uncomfortable and uncertain as i, but how would they know how uncertain i am, and why do others seem to pull of this "social" thing so much better than i do? is it preprogramming, natural instinct, or just better acting ability?

gods, this is terribly self-centered. it's the Leo ascendant crawling out to bare his shiny white teeth and admire them for hours in the mirror of my soul. am i alright? am i alone? do they like me? does anyone care? *sigh* i choke on my own self-consciousness and boundless arrogance. forever a teenage girl trapped in this grown-up body. yes, grown up. frightening as that is, i'm expected to function as an adult in this world. somehow, i don't think i'm cut out for that role.

and since when do i let others assign my roles for me? no, i'll be young at heart and flighty for the rest of my (possibly short) life, and i definately like it better that way.

i'm just rambling. candles pretty. *thwack*