Self-evaluation is the most useless passtime...

I just spent the past hour filling out my self-evaluation form, then reducing what i thought i should get to fit the expectations of my manager. I was summarily informed upon my first such eval last year that NO ONE (with only 2 notable exceptions) can fall in the 80-100 range, because that requires helping other stores. This, I am told by other department workers, is completely untrue, but I must abide by my manager's rules. Which means that no matter how hard i work, i CANNOT get more than a 79.5, for fear of falling into the forbidden category. now, for someone who gets an average grade of A- in school, this is galling. I find it insulting, degrading... and i can't do a damn thing about it. I am trapped in the "average" category, grouped equally with people who consistently go above and beyond job requirements and those who only show up and occasionally put a book on the shelf.

i am most dissatisfied with my job at the present, and would likely look for another if i thought the chances of finding anything better were even 50%. As it stands, though, book-selling is actually a decent job (though the pay is terrible) and it allows me the flexibility i need while i'm in school. I also can't afford the hassle of finding a new job AND a new apartment at the same time. so for the time being, i will sit and silently fume as my department goes to hell and i get blamed for it.

though i do draw the line in one place: if C quits, so do i. there is no way i'm going to get stuck doing BOTH our jobs for the same salary and no benefits. *glowers in direction of store*

grrr. argh.

yup, you guessed it: still sick am i. feel terrible do i. ick, ick, ick. well, enough moaning. i get very whiny when i'm sick (as SG, in his infinite patience, can attest to) so i'm trying very hard not to complain too much.

i called in sick for both today and tomorrow. even the manager said i sounded terrible; at least i didn't have to convince her i was really sick. i slept a grand total of an hour or two this morning, after tossing and turning all night in a half-hearted attempt to breathe. SG's got the night off and has gone to LAN at Largo's, leaving me to attempt to get some of the homework "reading week" is supposed to be about accomplished.

it must be because i'm sick, but i'm actually getting the darned stuff done. i suppose it's the fact that i can't sit still and can't make up my mind to do one thing or another, so i generally end up doing the most productive thing i can think of rather than just staring listlessly around me all evening, doing nothing in particular. i've installed and opened every computer game i owned, but only managed to play for a total of a few minutes before getting bored and moving on. even tv can't occupy my attention -- mostly cause i spend more time trying to drown out the neighbor than listening to it. ah well. only a few more hours and he'll go to bed, and i can watch all the tv i want.... like there'll be anything on, right?

okay, enough mindless griping. i'm gonna go try to figure out an essay topic.